The twentieth principle to stay happy is to learn how to let go of sadness. I am sure we all must have some high or low moments is our life.It is normal but how we are going to deal with these situations make a difference in our life. In low moments sometimes we get so much carried away that it takes hours,days,months and even years.It is not that we do not want to come out of it but the feelings of helplessness,loneliness,hopelessness,sadness overpower us and we remain in same state of mind.
Here we will discuss how to come out of this feeling and live normal and happy life.
1. Cause of your feeling
There may be ample reasons when we get sad.If some one says not nice things to us ,may be someone do not understand your feelings, you desire you achieve something in life and you fail to achieve it or may be your expectations from your spouse,children,friends,parents,colleagues,staff and so on.Some times big financial loss in business, relationship failure or even worse when you lost your loved one.Once we realize what is the cause of our emotional pain then we will find ways to come out of it.
2. Take responsibility
We should take the responsibility of our life what exactly we want from our life.If some one physically abusing you then you should take the help of others.If you lost your loved one,it is very painful I understand as I had been in this situation.But we should remember life moves on.No one is immortal in this planet. By your crying or going in depression that person will not come back but it will badly effect your health . Instead you should discuss the good moment you lived with that person so that his soul rest in peace.
If you suffer financial loss may be due to any reason just give your mind a thought that I can create wealth in my life again and start working towards it by taking small small steps.Take advise and help of experts,enhance your knowledge and skills.
During break up and relationship failures life become meaningless.Then we curse our self or others.But nothing works. If that person has made up his mind to end this relationship then you can not help it. The sooner you respect his or her feeling the easier would be to come out of it. He or she is not the only person in this planet or may be you deserve better person.Try to end this relationship gracefully so that it do not bring more pain in your life.Kick out your desire for expecting love from that person but find ways to make your self happy.
If someone says not nice words to you then think how you can convey your feeling calmly or just ignore that person or walk away. But do not take those words in heart by thinking again and again and feeling bad about it.
3. Drop your desire
Some times we are unhappy because of our desires. We should always remember that all our desires can not be fulfilled as per our choice.Suppose if you have the desire of becoming good singer but you do not do enough practice and you do not have good voice.Either you practice hard under guidance of expert in that field or drop your desire and find other qualities in you in which you are good at.
4. Avoid negative self talk
Some situations or people have made us sad. And we keep on thinking it and recreating that scene again and again.We are reliving in that moments and do so much negative self talk.It is natural that if you feel bad you will think over it.But allowing that situation beat you again and again by thinking over it … is not good at all. You need to check your thoughts by replacing them by positive and happy thoughts.Because your peace is more important than anything else.Do not give the keys of your happiness in hands of others or situations.Always remember there is nobody who can give you misery unless you take it in your mind. Do not give these thoughts or situations place in your mind .
5. Check your words
Sometimes we use these words that I am worth less, no body likes me, I have no friend,I am alone, I am very sad,Everyone cheats me and so on.Certain words you use or think and you become that. So change yourself.Try to find or create some good in your present life.You can say I am wise person now as this situation has given me this experience.I am capable of finding good people in life.Carefully choose those words which motivate you.
6. Find your low hours of the day
There are some hours of the day when you feel very low,find out those hours and try to divert your mind and keep your self busy.For some it may be morning time as when they get up they find themselves still for few seconds but immediately their mind start telling them the story of their life which give them suffering.For some it may be evening time or before going to bed. They have sleepless nights.Morning and evening time you can keep yourself busy in cooking.Do not keep electronics in your bed room. Make habit of reading may be few pages of a book.Books are man’s good friend.By reading we do not get only knowledge but it also changes our mindset.
7. Come out of your comfort zone
When we are sad we start behaving or living in certain way in which we feel comfortable. We need to break our comfort zone.Try new things which you never did before. Break monotony of your life. In the beginning you will be feel uncomfortable but do not think too much just do and brake old pattern.
8. Be social
When we feel low we like to remain in four walls of room , do not like to meet people and do not pick their calls even.Remember this is not going to help us in any way. It is only and only one person who can take you out from this state of mind that person is YOU.So get up and go out and meet new people. When you will talk to people and go out you will feel good.
9. Listen good music
Music release feel good chemical called dopamine.Listening to music makes a big difference.Choose good lyrics songs which elevate your mood.
Get out of your couch or bed and get moving.Find ways to activate yourself may be 5 to 10 minutes stretching,going out for morning or evening walk,cardio exercises,aerobics and yoga. Routine exercise change your attitude. You feel energetic and smile more and it changes your overall emotional state.You not only stay physically fit but it has also positive effect on your mood.
11. Be Grateful
Being grateful for every small or big thing of your life will make more optimistic and you will be able to find joy in life. You will become more forgiving and can built good relationship with your loved one.You will improve your health and have better self esteem
5 to 15 minutes daily meditation will calm your mind.It will help you to learn to live in present.It is very easy. Sit on comfortable position and concentrate on your breath and observe the sensations that arises in your body. It will reduce stress and anxiety.
13 Offer it to God
Offer your problems ,fear ,emotional pain in hands of God or to divine power and go free.And feel God is giving you way and making you capable to come out of it and he will surround you with right people who will help you. So stay calm and do what best you can do now.
Always remember our own mind creates misery so if we can create sadness then we can create happiness also .
These are few steps which we can use to let go of sadness.I will appreciate if you let me know which one is more valuable or you want to share some different tip.