STAY HAPPY – CONTROL THE HABIT OF OVERTHINKING

How many of you are aware what is going in your mind . Are these thoughts useful in achieving your goals? or these thoughts are taking away your peace and have bad effects on your health.I would like you to observe your thoughts for 10 minutes and write them down on a piece of paper.A couple of years ago I was not aware what is going in my mind until I visited in an Ashram for the seek of peace.Lots of things were going in my life. I was thinking that these people and situations are the cause of my problems.

In Satsang ( spiritual discourse ) I came to know that our present situation or problem is the  result of our previous karma ( action ).Suddenly question came in my mind how is it possible. That relative has insulted me so many times,my husband is not doing things as per my wishes and my business partner has cheated me blah blah blah…I was clueless how I am responsible for my pain.I could not pay attention to satsang because interlinked thoughts had diverted my attention.

In later spiritual discourses things became clearer and clearer.That person has insulted or cheated me once. But I am recreating that pain again and again by rethinking.For the first time I came to know about the nature of my thoughts that my mind is creating web of negative thoughts.Non stop chattering was going on and on even if I was doing something important.The result was that I feel irritated and even a small thing trigger me and I used to over react and get angry. I was of the opinion that I have to shout if I had to get things done from others.I did not stop here lots of negative chattering was going in my mind all the time. Sometimes I keep on thinking and creating what could happen if he or she says so or do so. So many irrelevant thought had caught my mind that I started thinking no one loves or care me, I am good for nothing,Why this happened to me?Why always me? I did so much for them and so on.

But one good thing happened now is that I started noticing my thoughts. But I did not know how to control  non stop negative thoughts. Here I will share some tips how I control my habit of overthinking.

1 . Labeling thoughts :–

First of all we have to observe the chatter of our mind.Are these wasteful thoughts or useful thoughts? We can not say that overthinking is always bad because many inventions in the world have been done by great thinkers.So if these thoughts are helping us to achieve the purpose of our life then these are useful thoughts. If these are creating negative feeling in our mind then these are wasteful thoughts.

2.  Be aware :-

After labeling your thoughts be aware of negative thoughts. When ever these occurs in your mind then immediately use some tactics to slow them down.Do not get yourself caught in the flow of these wasteful thoughts but pause them and separate yourself from your thoughts. Now see your thoughts as an observer,you will see these will come and go if you will not feed them with another thought of this type.

3. Clear your mind :-

 Always be clear in your mind.No comparison but learn from that person. If some one is jealous of you then do not give jealousy place in your mind. It is their sanskar ( sacraments ).We are unhappy when people are not in our way. We should think this is our perception others can also have their point of view.They are also right according to them. We can not force others to behave the way we want them to behave.

4. Be kind to yourself :-

 Sometimes the opinion of others badly effect our self esteem. And we start blaming ourselves on the judgment of others. Failures,relationship problem,if we see someone performing well then we start negative self talk.We start thinking that we are good for nothing.Here my opinion is to be kind to yourself. Everyone make mistakes. And you are not the only one person on this planet who did mistake.Learn from it and move away. Do not think too much what others think of you what you think about yourself that matter much. 

5. Forgive others :-

 Our much negative self talk is about how others have treated us.Sometimes they said not nice words to us. We feel bad and think I wish I could have said this to him.Their behavior and words keep on haunting in our mind.In my opinion we should forgive them because our peace is more important than anything else. I know it is not easy to forgive and forget. But believe me if you start doing you will feel calm. Instead of thinking about them you can focus on other things of your life.

6. Stop fighting with thoughts :-

These are web of thoughts and our mind is recreating those situations in which we feel pity and helpless.We can not fight with these thoughts rather we should see them as an observer and let them go, use affirmation of your choice or get your self busy in some new activity. The idea is to divert your attention on other positive things happening in your life.

7. Tackle the fear of unknown :-

Sometimes we are afraid of new ideas and immediately reject them.Due to some past experience of failure sometimes this fear of unknown wants to protect us and we do not want to come out of our comfort zone.But if you face your fear then you will realize the situation is not as bad as you have imagined in your thoughts.

8. Forced mind to be engaged :-

We should do some creative activities to divert our attention. If will do some thing new then our mind will focus on that and this will help to curb our habit of overthinking for some time.For this you can play any music instrument or learn how to play new one.You can write poetry,join painting classes or learn art of photography.Visit new places,go to museum or historical site.Learn how to speak new language. The idea is to try new activities just for fun.

9. Live in present :-

If you observe your thoughts you will see either you are doing self talk of something happened in past or worrying  about future.Suppose If you are constantly waiting for Saturday and Sunday then you should find new job that you actually enjoy or find something that  you appreciate about your current job.Sometimes we dream so much about future that we forget to enjoy our present moments.By accepting past and rejecting future you will allow yourself to live in present. Go to park,enjoy the smell of flowers,bird chirping,wind blowing. I mean to say touch something ,smell something,hear something,see something which is happening now at this moment. This is your life.Do not waste this time but try to develop the awareness of this moment .

10. Use of affirmations :-

You can curb your wasteful thoughts by using positive affirmations. I used these affirmations : – I am peaceful being, I am powerful, I am the best and Supreme power is always protecting me. Whenever negative thoughts came I tried to chant one of these at once. This has helped me a lot.

11. Take care of your mental food :-

Never say they have hurted me. The fact is that they have said something to me but I have created hurt in my mind. It does not matter what people say. Always remember this I need only one person who can always make me feel better that person is not other but only me.We should not become victim of our own thoughts. We loose our mental strength when we blame others and situations for our pain.When we do not react but respond to people or situation then we strengthen our inner power.We do so much to take care our body but we pay no attention what kind of information we are feeding in our mind . We get information from TV,Newspaper,Internet,Social media,friends,family and society. We should focus what we read,listen or watch that should be pure and divine.When you start doing this then the quality of your thoughts will be changed and you will feel peaceful. One thing more before going to sleep switch off mobile ,TV and laptop one hour before you are going to sleep. Spend some time with family or read good book and also resolve every issue in your mind happened during day by forgiving yourself and others and  then sleep with peaceful mind.

12.  Find purpose of your life :-

When you know the purpose of your life then you will think and work to achieve it and leave behind unnecessary thoughts and actions.Taking care of family,job,playing roles and responsibilities are the duties of our life.We are peaceful soul having human experience.Ask yourself a question, can I be peaceful ? Whatever we are creating inside effects how we feel. Suppose If I create a thought that everyone  loves and respect me.I will feel good first of all.This thought reaches every cell of my body.And my health will improve. This energy is vibrating from me and reaches to the people around me and as a result my relations with them improves.

But If I create a thought that no one loves and respect me.Just observe and you’ll will see so many thoughts relating to this thought our mind start creating. Sometimes we start crying also.We don’t stop here we call on phone or talk to people around us.They also exchange same vibration.Each negative thought first lowers my feeling then this reaches every cell of my body.So many years we are giving this type of energy to our body and our body will start reflecting its results. I have send this negative energy of no body loves and respect me .People around me will start feeling the same way.This negative energy has spread the atmosphere around me .See its result. This is not only one thought. We create so many thoughts of this type and so many times.Now see who has created this negative atmosphere around me? Who will change this atmosphere. I’ll do it. This is the purpose of my life.This is how tried to overcome my habit of overthinking.

13. Exercise and Meditation :-

Exercise and meditation also helped me a lot in this regard.When you begin your day with exercise your mental capacity of handling stress improve and as a result your mind creates positive thoughts. Meditation also calm our mind. For this you can sit straight for 10 to 15 minutes in morning and at night and observe your breath and do nothing.This will increase focus and present moment awareness which will help us to control our mind and thoughts which we do not need and thus we can live happy life.  

These are the few tips which I used to control my habit of overthinking. I will appreciate if you will share some different tips.    

STAY HAPPY – FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

Passion is one thing that I took much time to discover it. Earlier I was mixing it with hobby or some times I see someone doing  good and getting appreciation then I use to think that I should do this and do that.Actually the fact was that I was not good at drawing ,painting,dance,music,cooking,gardening or playing any sport . Neither I had any interest in any of these activities in which the kids of my age was good at. But I was good at studies and the people used to say that she will become doctor like her father. Later I realized I do not want to become a doctor. There was lot of confusion in my life.All my friends knew what they want to do but I had no idea. Here I’ll discuss how I find the passion of my life. First of all I noted down following things on a piece of paper.

  1. Things which I did not like doing and also I was not good at

 There were certain things which I had to do but I did not like doing. These were washing dishes,cooking etc . I mean some daily routine activities which I had to do but I was not good at .

2.  Things which I did not like but I was good at

 I was good at paying bills though I did not like it.I always made sure making all payments in time.

3. Things which I like but I was not good at

This was my job.I realized that I like my work but I need to acquire certain skills to excel in my profession.

4. Things which I like and I was good at

Finally I could find something which I like doing and also I was good at this is helping people and sharing my knowledge with others.

Now I realized if I want to live happily I should focus on doing things which I like. Then I joined part time classes to acquire required skills,read books and watched YouTube videos.This helped me to earn well. But still there was something I was looking for. Now I realized No.4  is my passion. I do not care whether I will be paying for it or not . Whenever I get time I love doing it. For this I can get up early or wake up late at night and can work during weekends.

Now I would like to ask you following questions :

  1. What are the things you love doing and you are good at?
  2. What are the things you love doing you are not good at?
  3. Does the opinion of people matter ?
  4. Does it matter if you are not paid for this ?
  5. Can it be useful to large number of people?

 I want you to think about it and note it down. This is your passion. Sometimes it require investment and learning. Give your self time and remember one thing that there is no age limit to follow your passion.Sometimes people will not connect with you, they will first laugh at you,question you and if your passion has impact on them then later on they will join you and follow you. If you can make your passion your paycheck then  that is awesome.

STAY HAPPY – DO NOT THINK YOU ARE INFERIOR TO ANYONE

Human mind is so complex that no one can assume how it reacts in certain situations.Sometimes it creates the feeling of insecurity after seeing someone more successful,happy ,healthy,wealthy or beautiful.The situation gets worst when we start demeaning ourselves and loose our confidence and believe that we are good for nothing or I am worthless and so on.And keep on doing negative self talk.Sometimes we start  rating ourselves on the feedback of others as a result either we start talking too much, do not feel comfortable to utter a single word , our body posture changes or our body muscles get tensed.We start pleasing other too much or start doing show off our our false self image.

I am going to share with you some of my personal experiences on feeling inferior and how I overcame it and felt confident about myself.

1 Past Experience

When I was a child some of my relatives compared me all the time with my younger sister.In their opinion my younger sister was more beautiful,fair and intelligent than me. Though I love my sister but in presence of my relatives, I started losing my confidence and feeling myself worthless. It effected on my studies as well. But I was fortunate my parents and their friends used to praise me. Then I felt more confident .When I was a teenager I realized I am confident in front of some people and comfortable in front of these relatives.. First thing I did was to avoid them as much I could and then I did not bother what they said. And start praising my sister in front of them. This way I was feeling good as with the passage of time their opinion did not matter me.

2. If someone ignores you

    Sometimes we feel low when someone ignore us,do not listen what we say or keep on nagging us.The situation gets even worst when this person is your boss and you are not in a position to leave or change this job.You fear to ask him/her any question or give any feedback to them.Here my suggestion is do not care what he/she says and how they say it. Just focus on what they want to convey.Try to improve those skills by reading books,doing short term courses or taking advantage of internet as lots of information is available on internet.And work on your personality ,sit and stand tall,wear well fitted clothes and stay calm.And do not give the keys of your happiness in hands of him/her .Just bless that person .Always remember no one is perfect and do not stop learning and keep on improving yourself and find the company of others where you can be yourself.

3. Social Media

     Apart from good influence of social media, it has some negative effects also.Sometimes we see much edited pictures of our friends and we feel  low and say see how they are looking good,enjoying their lives,visiting new places. My life is so boring . I wish I could have money spending on vacations and so on.One happy picture of anyone sometimes make us feel bad and we do not think or understand how exactly what they are going through,what is happening in their lives.I used to feel bad seeing lovely picture of my friends as I was putting lots of weight .So I could not upload my pics on Facebook. I used to like her pics but my inferiority complex was increasing day by day.One day I thought enough is enough.I am happy with my weight as I do not have any physical problem because of this. Though I am managing my weight as per my height. Then I started using social media for a while during day time. Earlier I was spending hours in morning just after waking up and going to bed every night. It had become my morning and evening ritual . Now I use this time for myself. I do not waste time what is going on in other people’s  life, judging them, feeling bad or happy for them. And now the pictures of others do not affect me and most of the time I feel good seeing lovely pictures of my friends.

4. Stop comparing yourself with others

     Comparing is one thing we should work on it.We should not compare ourselves with others.As God has inculcated good qualities in each one of us. We should only see what unique quality is present in me and work on it and excel it.If you are not good in studies as compared to your sibling then try to figure out what are things you are passionate about. Make your passion your way of earning money. In this way you will feel good spending time in your hobby and will find ways to excel it.Sooner or later you will be successful.

 In journey of life if you see someone doing good in one’s life they do not compare or feel bad rather we should honor,glorify or respect them. We should have healthy competition which will not make us envy but rather inspires us. And we should thank that person for inspiring us.Be grateful  and try your best  to improve your own capabilities.Always remember everyone is unique in this world. 

  5. Make a list of your achievements

 I made a list of good things that happened in my life since childhood. I noted them down in my note book. I even pasted pictures of appreciations and awards which I won during my school days. Whenever I feel low then immediately I take out this notebook and read and guess what  each time I discover something new in myself and feel more confident.

6. Meditation and Exercise

   I spend half an hour everyday during early morning in meditation.This help me to face calmly the challenges of day.And half an hour exercise keeps my body fit.This has helped me to find out what exactly I want from my life and how to find ways to achieve the purpose of my life.

7. Gratitude

   Last but not the least is Gratitude which has sorted my life.When I started doing gratitude I remember I could not find even a single thing which I was grateful for. When I started writing then my mind was only focusing what I do not have.I was feeling very bad. I could not write even a single word for what I was thankful for. That day I went to meet our neighbor  and she  told my mother  that she was suffering from advanced stage cancer and only few months are left.I was clueless how to react.Everyone was sad.I was looking at my mother and starting thanking God as she is fine. Then I came home and started writing down my gratitude list. My gratitude list is increasing day by day.I am grateful for every part of my body ,my family, friends, food, water, air, sun, abundance that nature is giving us , my work and so on. These are the few tips which I used to over come my inferiority complex.

I will appreciate if you want to share different tip. Please comment below in comment section.

STAY HAPPY – BE FEARLESS

The twenty fifth principle to stay happy is to be fearless.I would like you to close your eyes and see are you in a state of fear?. If yes then what are the things,situations,people or emotions which stop you to be fearless?Can you do something to deal with it?. Here I’ll discuss some tips how I overpowered the feeling of fear.

Fear of criticism

I used to think too much what people think of me and do not start conversation as I was scared of criticism.My mother suggested me to ask question or say something.As she told me if you are talking or not, the opinion of others for you is not going to change. But if you start conversation then you will get to know what are the areas of your personality you need to develop.Because no one in this world knows you better than you.Work on your flaws,the way you talk,stand,walk or carry yourself.Read good books,increase your vocabulary and enhance your professional skills.And she also told me to Wear neat ,properly fitted clothes ,make good hair style which suits your personality and wear a nice perfume. Observe the people whom you admire how they carry themselves.  Give yourself time and do not feel shy or feel guilty if you are taking time in learning something.Pat yourself at least you are trying.This will build your self esteem.This is what my mother advised me.And Guess what I acted upon her  advise and started working on myself . Though it took long time but now the opinion of others don’t stop me doing what I really want from my life.

Fear of losing loved ones

Sometimes we are so much attached with our loved ones that even the idea of losing them scares us.We are so much dependent on them and start unnecessarily worrying about them and start interfering in their lives so much as a result not only our lives but our loved one’s life become miserable.Suppose If they come home late we start calling them again and again.We do not stop here but we either message or call to their friends also which annoys them a lot.Here my suggestion is to give space to them.And chill as everyone knows what is good or bad for them.Your love and compassion will make the relationship work but not the fear. If someone do not understand you either move away from that relationship or make yourself busy in other activities of your choice.

Fear of death

A couple of years ago one of my friend lost her sister in road accident and she was so much scared of losing everyone around her.She was in pain.Someone suggested her to do meditation. Last week I met her and she was totally a changed person. She told me that we should always remember no one in this planet is immortal.We are meeting everyone for a certain period of time.Then she told me Instead of worrying we should enjoy each moment of life at the fullest no matter whatever the situation, condition of our health or  state of mind is .Believe me I was so happy to see my friend peaceful and in state of joy.

Fear of failure

Sometimes the fear of failure stops us showing our capabilities.We do not start or do something which we can do.Here my suggestion is to try and give your hundred percent and do not expect the result of your choice. If you succeed then enjoy your success but if you fail then you earned experience. Always remember many successful people of the world have tasted failure so many times.The only difference is that they kept on moving and did their best.

Excessive imagination

This is the one thing that I worked most is checking my excessive imagination. When I started observing my self I realized I was not in fear every time. Rather I was creating fear by my excessive imagination.Each time my mind made horror movies of my situations what may happen.I was fearing what even did not exist.I kept on worrying if this happens what will happen to me. If that happen what will I do.And guess what 97 percent of things which I was fearing never happened.Then I decided if I am the director of making horror movies in my mind why cann’t I make comedy,suspense and thriller and I started managing my thoughts.With change of thoughts ,my emotions changed.And now I learnt how to be fearless.

These are the few tips tips which I used to be fearless.Please comment below in comment section any other tips on how to be fearless. I am curious to know.

STAY HAPPY – ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE

The twenty forth principle to stay happy is to organize your life. I am going to discuss about  some of my favorite tips which I wish I knew years ago.


    1.Physical De-cluttering

Trust me friends your life will be more sorted if you de-clutter your space. There are clothes which you are not wearing not only from days but also from months and years. Here my suggestion is to bag up and donate. When I started to de-clutter, I eliminated all old phone sets, watches, electronic items, shoes ,magazine, toys which I was not using.

You will be surprised friends now I put things back in their  right  place at that time only. And now I find things as and when they are needed which saves my time and energy. Now I have so much space in my closets, rooms, living area, fridge, kitchen and office. This is the first thing decluttering… which I did for organizing my life

                  2.  Pen down

Make a habit of writing down your schedule ,ideas ,any appointment,dates of paying bills,loans or any important things. For this you can use flash cards,pocket diary, or phone. I make daily,weekly,monthly and yearly schedule. Before going to bed I look at my next day’s schedule and then I plan my day accordingly.It helped me a lot.

3.        Categorize tasks

Categorize tasks which are not so important, urgent or can be done later. I get up early and then I do meditation and do some Physical exercises ,yoga,go out for walk or sometime I sit idle in park and enjoy the beauty of nature.Then I get ready for work.Then I start working. First of all I work for two hours on projects which I am handling. Then I check email. First I write an email to get information which is needed for my work. Then I reply to those emails where my consent is needed or information for the projects I am handling. Sometimes unexpected things, meetings  pop up, sometimes some people waste my time and I may not finish work according to schedule but I try to do as much I can do. Then I decide my next day’s  priority. I make use of my traveling time. If I drive I listen to audio books. If I am traveling by bus or train then I pay online bills, check and reply personal emails and do social networking.

4    4.       Plan your clothes and food

I plan in advance which dresses and shoes I am going to wear from Monday to Friday.This saves my times and energy. On Saturday and Sunday I dress up according to the occasion. I do laundry every Friday evening. I even plan in advance what I am going to eat next week. If I have to cook at home then I bring all the grocery on Saturday morning itself . If I have to order food or eat outside I decide that in advance .I keep phone numbers of those restaurants and order my food . Now I do not starve myself in deciding what I am going to eat ,either I have to cook or from where I have to order. Let me just tell you this has sorted my life . Now I am more productive and energetic.

5    5.      Budget

Next thing I highly recommend is having a budget.Every person or family should have a budget.It helps to know how much amount is coming in and also get you know where your money is going out. This will help you to be less overwhelmed.

6.       Mental De-cluttering

Whenever I get overwhelmed then I sit down and observe what is going in my mind. I watch my thoughts  as an observer. I bless everyone and situations because my peace is most important than proving my point of view. Though I put forward my point  but try to avoid arguments and also avoid negative thoughts taking place in my mind. I try to replace them with positive affirmations of my choice. If I fail doing any task, instead of feeling bad or blaming others I try to find out what lesson I have learnt.

BrahamKumaris meditation and teachings of Satguru Jaggi Vasudev of Isha foundation ,spiritual guidance of Sant Shri Asharam ji Bapu , guided meditation of Shri Shri Ravi Shankar of  The Art Of Living helped me a lot in this regard from time to time .

When your mind gets organized the way you think the way you feel ,your emotions get organized.Once your thoughts and emotions are organized, your energies will get organized. Once your thoughts emotions and energies are organized, your body get organized. Now you have the ability to create what you want. Now you can create peace ,happiness ,success not for you but for the world around you.

Please comment below  any other tips how to be organized. I am curious to know. Stay happy and organized always !

STAY HAPPY – OVERCOME ANXIETY

The twenty third principle to stay happy is to overcome anxiety.While doing certain things, meeting or talking to people we get anxious.In some situation fear and anxiousness is good e,g; if you saw a lion you get scared and will run away to save your life.Before interview, exam or any presentation in office you get anxious and work hard to crack the interview ,exam and give 100 % for your presentation.This is positive side and is available in each one of us in certain extent.

But situation gets worst when it effects our day today life instead of performing we feel low and sit idle at home and do not meet people.Now we’ll discuss some steps to overcome anxiety and live happily.

1. Identify the cause of your anxiety

Write down what exactly you are feeling now and you will see your blocked emotions have been released. Now you are feeling light. By writing you will also get to know the cause of your anxiety is real or imagined. If it is real then you will work to get out of this situation. If it is imaginary then you will get relaxed and will work to stay calm in this situation.

2. Observe your behavior

    Be aware.Focus on your breath if it fast then take deep breath.Make eye contact.Keep your spine straight while standing or sitting.Relax your muscles. Put equal weight on both legs.Wear a gentle smile. Your thought process will change.Now you will feel that you can handle the situation.

3. Work on thought level

 Check your thoughts. What kind of thoughts are present in your mind.Negative thoughts effect our body.Take your charge. Enough is enough. I have to come out of it.Take firm decision. At once everything will change.Change your negative thoughts in positive ones.

4. Read good books

   Books helped me when I was feeling down..I will recommend here some books which really helped and changed my life.

   1.   SHRIMAD  BHAGAVAD GEETA

   2.   A NEW EARTH BY ECKHART TOLLE

   3.   PRETTY HAPPY HEALTHY WAY TO LOVE YOUR BODY BY KATE HUDSON

   4.   THE MAGIC OF THINKING BIG BY DAVID J.SCHWARTZ PH.D.

   5.  YOU ARE A BAD ASS – HOW TO STOP DOUBTING YOUR GREATNESS AND START LIVING AN AWESOME LIFE – JEN SINCERO

   6.   THE FOUR AGGREMENTS

   7.   MAKE TODAY COUNT BY JOHN C. MAXWELL

The idea is read some pages everyday. books not only give us knowledge but also books are man’s good friend.Read positive books, attend seminars and meet positive people.You will see you are becoming positive day by day.

4. Spare time for hobby

  There are certain things we love doing, it can be gardening, painting, cooking,music,photography or any thing. You not only feel good or make proper use of your free time but it also make new social connections. You become more interesting which help you to overcome stress.

5. Be kind to yourself

   Make a list of incidents you feel bad about it, may be people who have hurt you,your expectations from yourself,you lied,maybe you could not become good child,good sibling,good parent or good partner.Accept yourself and be kind to yourself as you are not the only person in this planet who made mistakes and faced failures.Learn from it and move away.Forgive others also as your peace is more important than anything else. 

6. Take responsibility

It is only and only one person who can take you out from this situation that person is only YOU. So get up and take responsibility. And do what you can do to come out of it. Life is very beautiful so make use of each moment. Enjoy and be grateful you are alive.Once you make up your mind then you will see how the world is changing in good way. And you will feel important,happy,grateful and blissful.

7.  Physical reasons

     Sometimes without any reason we are not feeling good.If you are sick and on bed for so many days,you feel sad and helpless.We fell stressed and doctors cures the symptoms of anxiety by giving certain medicines to release some artificial chemicals in our brain which make you feel good and block certain chemicals which creates stress. It has some side effects. I completely understand we need professional help and have to take medicines but in some situation we can heal our self by changing our mindset and life style.

8. Eat right kind of food

 Sometimes we feel low because of some vitamin deficiency. So we should eat right kind of food. We should eat fruits and vegetables. Drink plenty of water.We should not skip breakfast.We should spend some time in nature.We will not only feel good but our body requires sunlight and fresh air.

9. Healthy life style

 We should follow some routine.We should get up early and go out for walk. Do Yoga, Pranayam,deep breathing.Play any sport and do exercise to keep our body fit and in proper shape.If easily possible go to bed early.6 to 8 hours sleep is good for health.Avoid too much salt,sugar,tea and coffee.

10 Make Friends

Get out from your couch or bed and meet people. Make new friends and be social. When you meet people you get to know others and forget you problem for some time.It relaxes your mind and you will be able to make better decisions.

11.  Self Management 

       Write down this twenty one times everyday morning and before going to bed.

       I AM POWERFUL ENERGY, MASTER OF MY MIND AND BODY.NO ONE OR SITUATION CAN DISTURB ME.

  Feel it while writing. I can handle any situation and I can deal and adjust with any person. Many fears are self created.That situation has not arisen in present but we create that hypothetically. Then we get scared. Now the question arises what should we do ? In my opinion leave worry, fear of past,future,people’s opinion,self blaming,self pity,bad incident for sometime.Now be aware in present and think my life is in my hand.I am choosing happiness and peace for me.What others think of me is their opinion.What you are thinking,saying and believing for yourself that matters only.So concentrate on yourself.Now you have to decide what you want ?  happiness or pain…… It is your choice and it is in your hands only.

12. Do good for others

Do at least one good thing for others. It will divert your attention from your personal problems.By helping others will create feel good factor in you.Bringing smile on others face will make you happy.

13 Meditation

     Do meditation everyday ,focus on your breath for 10 to 15 minutes.It will calm your mind.And you will feel good and develop the attitude of handling situation more calmly than before.

14 Gratitude

We should write down everyday at least two good things happened during day.If in the beginning you do not find anything don’t get disheartened. Let me help you to make your list… Be thankful you are alive,thankful to your body parts,thankful to the food you eat,air you breath,your job or business,your friends,people around you and so on.When you start writing every small or big thing happened during day you will find list of your gratitude is increasing day by day. Believe me friends it really works.

15   Offer it to God

Offer your problems in the hands of God or Supreme Power and go free.Do what you can do now and give your 100% to deal with it and do not think or worry about the desired result.Stay connected with Supreme Power and feel God is with you, holding you and protecting you.

These are few tips which will help you to live happy and peaceful life. I will appreciate if you will suggest me some other tips.

Stay Happy Always !

Renu Sharma

STAY HAPPY – AS EXPERIENCED ADULT

The twenty second principle to stay happy as experienced adult is that always remember age is just a number and you are what you think or feel about yourself.Life is so beautiful and we should utilize every single moment of life.

Here we will discuss some tips to stay happy and motivated always.

1. Change your mindset

   When we are young adults either we are living with children and grand children or living alone. We will not be lonely if we change our old habit patterns,liking and disliking. As the time is changing we should accept this change in positive way.We should try to ignore certain things and take things lightly and live life happily.

2. Manage your expectations

Expectations from others are the real cause of our sadness.I understand we spend our whole life in bringing up our children and now we expect from them only love , time and talk to us nicely. Sometimes our children take care of us nicely but do not give us time.It hurts us. These expectations can be from your spouse,relatives,friends and even from servants.And we start blaming them and get angry with our loved ones or start negative self talk or backbiting.It ruins our relationship with them.We should understand that the other persons must be experiencing the set of challenges of their life.He may not be sharing with you so that you do not feel sad.If we want to live happily we should learn from nature and develop the attitude of giving rather than expecting.I am not saying give money to them but talk nicely to them.Instead of complaining show empathy.You will earn more respect.Above all it will make your life peaceful.

3. Forget and forgive 

In our life we might have faced some incidents or bad memories which steal our peace.It may be true that sometimes we may not be at fault.But these thoughts and people still have place in our mind.Here my suggestion is to forget and forgive them as there is no use of carrying these baggages whole life. As we are on this planet called earth for a certain period of time.And these memories badly effect our health and peace. So our peace is more important than anything else.

4. Be a good listener 

The quality of our relationship with others depends on how well we listen others.Now check yourself , Are you really listening ? or just listening to react.Half listening leads to misunderstanding and conflict.Some times we speak so much and start telling our incidents and do not let other person speak or sometimes just to impress others we tell lies which not only bore others but also damage our image.Or sometimes we start giving advises to others when some one share our problems with us or belittle them.Now people will start making distance with you. As nobody is interested in your story.Every one knows what is good or bad for them so they do not want your advise. People simply want some one listen them and show empathy.If you do so you will never be alone.If you speak less it will conserve your energy and you will understand others well.

5. Do not always project yourself helpless 

 I very well understand at this age some of you must be feeling physically and emotionally weak.Sometime you get sympathy of people when you discuss about your physical problems.But you will always not get the attention of others.People will avoid talking to you.

6. Follow Schedule

Now you have plenty of time. Instead of thinking or sitting on bed or couch, follow some schedule.Make some morning or evening rituals.Go out for walk,do Yoga,Meditation,do some physical exercise as per the advise of your doctor. Be social.Make new friends.Talk to them.Make your Facebook account,join what’s app group etc.The idea is to stay connected with people and keep your self busy.Eat balanced diet and take care of your health. Be Grateful for every big or small thing of your life.Live in present and offer your pains and problem in the hands of God and go free.Listen music and learn new activity.Join laughter club or watch laughter show on TV or on internet because laughter therapy and music elevates our mood.At this age your spouse may leave you as no body is immortal here. It is very painful but life goes on.If you have some schedule then you can keep yourself busy and remember his or her good memories.Active life style will keep you healthy and happy.

7. Spend money 

 Whatever your financial status may be,do not forget to spend money on yourself. Go and buy clothes shoes gadgets sunglasses anything you like for yourself.Pamper yourself. Go to spa or go out with your friends or spouse for coffee or go out for vacations with them.Do not feel shy spending money on yourself.

8. How to be useful

  Always remember your age has given you so much experience which can be useful for society.You have plenty of ideas which can change the life of others. Share your failures also.You can write blogs, articles, books or make YouTube videos.

9. Positive Attitude

    Positive attitude is key of our happiness.Do not hurt anyone by your words or action.Instead say nice things about them and motivate everyone around you.If we think negative about others it will automatically steal our peace.Observe your heart beat it is fast and you are not feeling good. But peaceful and positive thoughts makes your heart beat normal.Bless everyone.By doing so does not mean people and situations around you will change. But your mind will learn to stay peaceful in every situation.Happiness is there when mind is peaceful . Negative thoughts effect  your health badly and disturb your mind then your relationship with others will not be good.So think positive bless everyone spread love and stay peaceful and happy always.

Stay Happy and blessed always !

Renu Sharma