STAY HAPPY – LETTING GO OF SADNESS

The twentieth principle to stay happy is to learn how to let go of sadness. I am sure we all must have some high or low moments is our life.It is normal but how we are going to deal with these situations make a difference in our life. In low moments sometimes we get so much carried away that it takes hours,days,months and even years.It is not that we do not want to come out of it but the feelings of helplessness,loneliness,hopelessness,sadness overpower us and we remain in same state of mind.

Here we will discuss how to come out of this feeling and live normal and happy life.

1. Cause of your feeling 

  There may be ample reasons when we get sad.If some one says not nice things to us ,may be someone do not understand your feelings, you desire you achieve something in life and you fail to achieve it or may be your expectations from your spouse,children,friends,parents,colleagues,staff and so on.Some times big financial loss in business, relationship failure or even worse when you lost your loved one.Once we realize what is the cause of our emotional pain then we will find ways to come out of it.

2. Take responsibility 

 We should take the responsibility of our life what exactly we want from our life.If some one physically abusing you then you should take the help of others.If you lost your loved one,it is very painful I understand as I had been in this situation.But we should remember life moves on.No one is immortal in this planet. By your crying or going in depression that person will not come back but it will badly effect your health . Instead you should discuss the good moment you lived with that person so that his soul rest in peace.

    If you suffer financial loss may be due to any reason just give your mind a thought that I can create wealth in my life again and start working towards it by taking small small steps.Take advise and help of experts,enhance your knowledge and skills.

   During break up and relationship failures life become meaningless.Then we curse our self or others.But nothing works. If that person has made up his mind to end this relationship then you can not help it. The sooner you respect his or her feeling the easier would be to come out of it. He or she is not the only person in this planet or may be you deserve better person.Try to end this relationship gracefully so that it do not bring more pain in your life.Kick out your desire for expecting love from that person but find ways to make your self  happy.  

  If someone says not nice words to you then think how you can convey your feeling calmly or just ignore that person or walk away. But do not take those words in heart by thinking again and again and feeling bad about it.

3. Drop your desire

   Some times we are unhappy because of our desires. We should always remember that all our desires can not be fulfilled as per our choice.Suppose if you have the  desire of becoming good singer but you do not do enough practice and you do not have good voice.Either you practice hard under guidance of expert in that field or drop your desire and find other qualities in you in which you are good at.

4. Avoid negative self talk

  Some situations or people have made us sad. And we keep on thinking it and recreating that scene again and again.We are reliving in that moments and do so much negative self talk.It is natural that if you feel bad you will think over it.But allowing that situation beat you again and again by thinking over it … is not good at all. You need to check your thoughts by replacing them by positive and happy thoughts.Because your peace is more important than anything else.Do not give the keys of your happiness in hands of others or situations.Always remember there is nobody who can give you misery unless you take it in your mind. Do not give these thoughts or situations place in your mind .

5. Check your words 

    Sometimes we use these words that I am worth less, no body likes me, I have no friend,I am alone, I am very sad,Everyone cheats me and so on.Certain words you use or think and you become that. So change yourself.Try to find or create some good in your present life.You can say I am wise person now as this situation has given me this experience.I am capable of finding good people in life.Carefully choose those words which motivate you.

6. Find your low hours of the day

There are some hours of the day when you feel very low,find out those hours and try to divert your mind and keep your self busy.For some it may be morning time as when they get up they find themselves still for few seconds but immediately their mind start telling them the story of their life which give them suffering.For some it may be evening time or before going to bed. They have sleepless nights.Morning and evening time you can keep yourself busy in cooking.Do not keep electronics in your bed room. Make habit of reading may be few pages of a book.Books are man’s good friend.By reading we do not get only knowledge but it also changes our mindset.

7. Come out of your comfort zone

    When we are sad we start behaving or living in certain way in which we feel comfortable. We need to break our comfort zone.Try new things which you never did before. Break monotony of your life. In the beginning you will be feel uncomfortable but do not think too much just do and brake old pattern.

8. Be social

  When we feel low we like to remain in four walls of room , do not like to meet people and do not pick their calls even.Remember this is not going to help us in any way. It is only and only one person who can take you out from this state of mind that person is YOU.So get up and go out and meet new people. When you will talk to people and go out you will feel good.

9. Listen good music

   Music release feel good chemical called dopamine.Listening to music makes a big difference.Choose good lyrics songs which elevate your mood.

10   Exercise

       Get out of your couch or bed and get moving.Find ways to activate yourself may be 5 to 10 minutes stretching,going out for morning or evening walk,cardio exercises,aerobics and yoga. Routine exercise change your attitude. You feel energetic and smile more and it changes your overall emotional state.You not only stay physically fit but it has also positive effect on your mood.

11.  Be Grateful

Being grateful for every small or big thing of your life will make more optimistic and you will be able to find joy in life. You will become more forgiving and can built good relationship with your loved one.You will improve your health and have better self esteem

12  Meditation

5 to 15 minutes daily meditation will calm your mind.It will help you to learn to live in present.It is very easy. Sit on comfortable position and concentrate on your breath and  observe the sensations  that arises in your body. It will reduce stress and anxiety.

13 Offer it to God

 Offer your problems ,fear ,emotional pain in hands of God or to divine power and go free.And feel God is giving you way and making you capable to come out of it and he will surround you with right people who will help you. So stay calm and do what best you can do now.

Always remember our own mind creates misery so if we can create sadness then we can create happiness also .

These are few steps which we can use to let go of sadness.I will appreciate if you let me know which one is more valuable or you want to share some different tip.

Stay Happy

Renu Sharma

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STAY HAPPY – AS A STUDENT

The nineteenth principle to stay happy as student is to be yourself and focus on what you really want to achieve in life.During school or college days, we get easily carried away with lots of distractions and we do not like to study and waste our valuable time. It is not that we do not know the importance of study but still we kill our time in other activities.

These distraction can be drinking,smoking, taking drugs,watching TV,spending lots of time on social media,talking to friends,late night parties,crying over broken relationship and so on. Procrastination , laziness and illness are also some factors which steals our precious time.

Sometimes due to lack of confidence,self esteem we can not concentrate our mind for studies.Even peer pressure and bullying also distract our mind.

I will narrate here some tips which I used when I lost my interest in studies during my school days.Though I was good in studies but still the time came when I did not want to study and scored low grade.My parents were worried but I was not feeling bad at all. I was scared my parents will scold me. But they did not say anything and the next year my results were even worse.Instead of talking about my grades my father asked me what you like the most.I said that I want to look good,wear nice dresses and watch TV. Then after one week he took me to our native village.I met so many adults there who were school dropout. Many of them could not afford to wear good clothes or even food to eat.Some of them were my father’s cousins.There was huge difference in them and my father. Then my father told me how he worked hard to become doctor.My father asked me how you will pay for nice dresses as he will give me money only for 7 or 10 years and what after that?

We came home but these three words were haunting me WHAT AFTER THAT ? I had no answer.After few days thought came in my mind that now I have to focus on my studies.I started studying.My mother helped me to make time table. It was like this : –

I get up half an hour early than my usual time. And sit on bed for 10 to 15 minutes doing nothing.Before getting ready for school I used to water plants of our terrace garden.

After coming from school my mother helped me to do my home work.I even took coaching for Mathematics  and Science.

She gave me two hours everyday in which either I can watch TV or hang out with my friends or call them on phone.

In evening my father used to tell me the stories of great persons of history and also childhood stories of Lord Krishna.These stories motivated me to follow my passion and face challenges bravely.

Time table taught me how to manage time and after studies I had two hours free time to do fun which helped me to follow strictly my time table.Getting up early and sitting on bed doing nothing for 15 minutes helped me to calm my mind.Spending time in watering the plants helped me to see the beauty of nature.

My life was changed. I scored good grades.Though there were times in my college days also when I got distracted. But soon I tried to overcome it by using this formula with some changes.

As a student we should have purpose of our life and attach emotion to it, visualize it and give your mind direction to achieve it.Choose your priorities and keep those priorities by making time table.Find ways to motivate yourself. Do not forget to take care of your body by doing some exercise,yoga,morning or evening walk and do meditation for at least 15 minutes.Spend quality time with your friends and have fun.

Stay Happy and Motivated !

Renu Sharma

STAY HAPPY – MANAGE YOURSELF IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

The eighteen principle to stay happy is how to manage yourself in difficult situations. In life we face many ups and downs. In both situations we get carried away and loose balance.During hard times we are over powered by negativity emotions like frustration,fear,anger,self pity,blaming others and so on. Then we can not focus on what we can do now to come out of this situation.

Last year I met one of my old friend and I was surprised to know about his situation. I asked what went wrong.You had good business and very good name in the market. Then I said that ups and downs are part of business.You will come out of it .Don’t worry.Now my friend started telling what went wrong.During his conversation he blamed his business partner how he cheated him. He did not stop here then he started complaining about his wife and children.He even discussed how they fight in front of children. Then he started requesting me to talk to his wife and children.Then coming Saturday,I invited his family for dinner.His wife was nice and pious lady and his children were very well behaved and were scoring good grades.I discovered that the problem is in my friend’s attitude.

The very next day he came to my office and borrowed money from me and then he did not turn up for months.Then one fine morning he again called me and asked for money.I asked him I understand what you are going through. But my question is how you are going to pay back.Then I said I am your friend and want to help you.But without your help it is not possible at all.He was saying what can I do. I want to come out of this mess.

Then I told him to write down on a piece of paper what exactly went wrong in his business without blaming your business partner.This way he realized that during office hours instead of sitting in office,he spend most of his time talking to his relatives or friends on phone or smoking outside and so on.First time he took the responsibility of his failure.Then I asked him to write what are the five things you can do to come out of it.He could not find even one thing.I said okay don’t worry. Please go to park in the morning and spend some time there.He did as I said.Guess what after three four days he again called me and said now I know what I should do to come out of this situation.He started teaching part time in some coaching institute,became insurance agent and then he started some online business.

Now we will discuss what we should do in difficult situation.

1. we should not get disheartened but think what can I do now. It is okay to be scared or cry but do not give up. May be life has stored something better than this. Or may be you are not good for this.

2. Take responsibility of your failure,learn from it and move ahead.

3.  Always live in present.You are what you are thinking and doing now.In difficult situation give your mind a positive thought I CAN DO IT.Instead of sitting idle, do something.Take small small steps.Challenge yourself.Do that thing which fear you most ,sooner or later you will over come fear.Do not worry or feel bad what other think of you. Be expert in your field.

4. Do not blame others but bless them.This you are doing for your peace. Because peaceful mind can take better decisions.Do not forget to take care of your health.For this you can Go out for walk,eat nutritious food ,do some exercise,yoga or play any sport.Focus on your breath for 15 minutes will help you to calm your mind.

When you face challenges bravely you become better person.Now you know the purpose of your life.Inspiration of doing something that is coming out from your heart will make you successful person and you will also do good for the society till your last breath.

Stay happy

Renu Sharma

STAT HAPPY – GOALS SETTING

The seventeenth principle to stay happy is to Goal Setting. I am sure many of us have something we are passionate about.We do lots of thinking and even talking to our friends and family about that and then leaving that idea after some time by saying I do not have time ,degree or enough resources or blaming others for not achieving it. Then after some time running after another dream and end result is always the same…..excuses,blame,self pity or shortage of time and resources and so on.

My question here is that, Are we happy doing this ? I am sure the answer is big NO.We can fool others around us but we can not fool our self. We should understand this thing that everyone has the capacity to become change maker. The successful persons are not from another planet they are like us. The only difference between them and us is that they are doers not dreamers. They are confident and make decision and implement it.They do not feel shy to take help from others or hire professionals to run their organisation,take advise from experts , make daily goals and work until they achieve it. They follow their daily schedule.They are not running after money but they are reaching more and more people with their useful product which is making their life better and the people are happily spending money to buy their product. They have disciple in their life.If you observe their life style,they get up early in the morning,do meditation,some physical exercise and eat healthy food so that they remain physically fit and mentally calm which help them to take better decisions.Their life is also full of challenges but they take them as opportunities and try to over come them.If they fail they do not get dishearten but find the reason of their failure and make proper action plan and be successful.They do not complain about their degree or financial conditions and so on but they follow their passion and do not stop until they achieve it.They value time and their energy. They come out of their comfort zone while following their passion. The end result is that they make their dream come true,success,money and fame is the out come of their efforts.Take example of  Andrew Carnegie who dominated US Steel industry, Bill Gates founder of Microsoft,Steve Jobs key Figure in Apple Computers,Henry Ford who revolutionised Auto Industry and the list goes on.

Now I am sure we have clear idea where we are lacking.Now the question arises what should we do. Here I will share some easy tips which will help you to make your dreams come true.

1. Write down your goals so that you have clear idea what you exactly want from your life.

2. Focus on big goal.

3. And ask question what your life would be if you achieve this goal.This will motivate you to achieve your goal.

4. Now you will be ready to change your habit patterns.This points plays an important role. Now you have to behave like complete different person. Wake up early,do meditation, exercise and eat healthy food.Change your friend circle.Sleep early. Before going to bed read some good books.Do not waste time in thinking or talking about your plan but think how you are going to do it. Or you can choose any other habit which you think you need to change.

5. Break your goal in small small parts and allocate time to each part. Then complete that part in that time only.Check email or what’s app or Facebook once you have done that part.Then immediately shift your focus on completing other parts. Keep on doing until you achieve your goal.

6. While completing your task you will find some limitations. Try to overcome them by taking help of others or by enhancing your skills by doing some courses,reading books or taking advise of experts.Make use of your traveling time.Instead of sitting idle watch YouTube video or read book which will enhance your skill.But if you are driving don’t do this.

7. Make daily schedule and follow that schedule strictly. Before going to bed spend 2 minutes looking at your next days plan. Next day before going to work look at your today’s schedule.It will help you to plan your day wisely.

8. Once you will complete your goal. Do not forget to reward yourself. If you will complete one task then you will have confidence in you and then you will complete more tasks. It will become your habit. Now you will become better person who take action. Because now you understood that what we do each day decide our fate and you are using your single moment wisely.You will live in present moment.Instead of worrying or living in fear about future,now you are taking action and doing it now.If you fail then you will try to find out the cause of your failure,learn from it and make proper action plan and do it.Life is not changed by thinking,worrying or making goals. It is changed what we do each day.

These are few tips which will help you to achieve your personal and professional goals .I will appreciate please write on comment box if you need my help or you have any suggestion. I will reply you.

Stay happy and focused

Renu Sharma

STAY HAPPY – BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE

The sixteen principle to stay happy is to build self confidence.First of all we’ll understand what is confidence,self esteem,self confidence and arrogance. When we say confidence it means that I can do this job as I have the knowledge of doing it.Self Esteem means I completely accept my self and know my worth.Self confidence is the ability to believe in yourself to accomplish any task by working hard and trying to be the best version of yourself by learning and coming out of your comfort zone.Self confidence make you think I am the best version of myself but arrogance make you think I am the best in the world.Always remember arrogance is the greatest enemy of self growth.

Now we’ll discuss seven ways to build self confidence.

1. We should do something for our body everyday.We can go out for a walk,do some exercise,yoga and so on. Eat nutritious food.When you will have healthy and fit body then you’ll feel confident.Confident  person look strong,sure of themselves.They are standing tall,their shoulders are back upright,their hands are moving,they make eye contact,wear nice perfume.When you look good,smell good then you act more confident.

2. Do not compare yourself with anyone.Believe me no body is your competition. You can improve your knowledge by reading books,lots of good informations are available on internet.You can join required courses to improve your skills.You need to develop your brain.If you have fixed mindset you will give up when you discover something you are not good at. If you have growing mindset, you will improve your abilities and be successful.

3. Get away from people who tear you down because they effect your confidence in negative way.

4. If you are following your passion and you fail. Face it bravely.Failures are also part of life. There are many famous personalities who failed so many times.You are not the only person in this planet who failed so be kind to yourself and accept that you can make mistake. Your knowledge and understanding is increased and you are better equippted to respond challenge.

5. Avoid negative self talk. Thoughts influence our action. We should check negative talk that is taking place in our head. To get rid of it we can make our own affirmations such as : I am beautiful,I can do it and so on. Keep on saying it,believe it and feel it. It will boost your self confidence. You can also write down your feel good past or present moments,great compliments,your personal wins and things that made you proud. When you are feeling low read it as it will boost your self confidence.

6. We have the ability to make other people happy so we should do act of kindness each day.It will not only bring happiness in others life but also give us satisfaction. This feel good moment will bring happiness in our life.When we are caught up in our own problems then we forget this quality.Helping others will boost our mood.We can also compliment others.When you are able to put smile on someone else face.They will automatically like you and thus you can build deep connection with them.

7 Last but not the least believe me there is a supreme power up there and inside you who will never let you down and always there for you,holding your hand,protecting you,never leaves you alone no matter whatever the situation is.

Stay happy and confident

Renu Sharma

STAY HAPPY – AS OF PARENT

The fifteen principle to stay happy is that as a parent you should  be calm,compassionate, understanding while bringing up your children.There are times when our child does not listen us,not taking interest in studies or started smoking, drinking or even taking drugs.But sometimes parents are unhappy as their children are not living up to their expectations. Though their children are good in studies,well behaved,having good career but the parents are comparing them with their friend’s or relative’s children. 

Few years back one of my friend called me and she was sounding very low.During her conversation I came to know why she was sad. And she asked me what should I do and staring crying please pray for my child.Actually they arranged birthday party for her daughter and none of her daughter’s friend turned out. All arrangements for the party had been done.It happened with her second time.She told me her daughter felt very bad and cried and she also cried a lot. I told her I understand what you are feeling now. But tell me what you did after that. Then she said we went to mall and bought gifts of her choice and tried to make her happy. She told her daughter not to spoil her day and we will not behave like them. If they will arrange party then her daughter will attend their party. She will not be spoil sport. I told her your daughter is just in 9th standard. She will have many many good birthdays.As I know her children personally. So I told her your children are well behaved and good in studies.You brought up them very nicely.I know that I was telling her truth.As far as about her friends I will only say that your daughter has more casual acquaintances and may be very less or no best friend.She needs better friends. Do not worry she will learn how to develop better friendship. May be your daughter is too good to these friends. 

Then I told her to do visualization for at least 21 days.Then I told her let’s start. First you sit comfortably . Now close your eyes .Feel golden light is falling on you making you peaceful,happy and confident. Then bless everyone. And send this golden light on your children. Visualize your children are surrounded in golden light. They are very happy,healthy, peaceful and surrounded with good friends. Then I told her to tell your children to visualize themselves surrounded by golden light coming from universe, making them happy,healthy and peaceful.Now guess what …..After two years she called me and she was very happy and cheerful.She told met that her daughter scored good grade in 10 standard. And now she has many good friends. She told me we all did as you said and we all are doing this visualization now as well.Actually the mother shifted the energy of too much worrying about her children. Now she is connected with higher self and instead of having negative emotions she started blessing everyone and every situation.Her positivity changed the energy of home.She also made some best friends. Earlier she was only focusing on her children and was over protecting them. Hence creating the energy of fear and worry.

As a parents we should understand this our children have their own journey. They will do some mistakes.After learning from their mistakes they will become good player in game of life.You can not dictate their future just because you gave them birth and you are few years older and have more experience.Let them find their purpose of life for which God has send them in this beautiful planet called earth.Have confidence in them and they will do best as per their capacity and talent.

During childhood you can inculcate good values in them.In most cases they will become what you actually are and not but you project yourself in society.In childhood your child is carefully observing your behaviour. Since you are his or her role model so they are imbibing these traits in their personality.

Do not compare your child with others.Always remember everyone is unique. Be with them when they need you. If they commit mistake or they have bad society,they smoke or drink. Tell them that you love them so much and calmly make them understand the harm of bad society, smoking or drinking. And say them that you understand them and have confidence that you will take good decision what is best for your life and your future. And send positive vibes to your child. Have confidence in your bringing.

If you think that your children need help then do not hesitate for taking them to counselors or even admitting them in rehabilitation centers. Do not create negative environment of fear, worry and stress at home. Be calm and help your child. Your love and affection will make them better human being.Always remember your peace and positive attitude is more important which will create happiness in you and your loved one’s life.

Stay happy always

Renu Sharma

STAY HAPPY – MANAGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The fourteenth principle to stay happy is to manage your relationship with others and as well as with yourself. These relationships can be with friends,parents,siblings,spouse,colleges,roommates and so on.Though we share good relations with them yet at times we get annoyed so much that it leads to so much frustration,anxiety,stress and sometimes we ended up saying bad words to them, fighting or even ending up relationship.But the problem is that by doing so either one or both of us are not happy.And the question arises what should we do?

In my opinion we should understand that we are humans with different mental makeup,different thinking level ,different social , economic, cultural, ethnic background ,different liking and disliking as on so.We should remember this that we can not make every person happy all the time and also no one can make us happy all the time.So our expectation with others should be reasonable.We can not force anyone to change his or her good or bad habit overnight. But we can set certain boundaries after mutual discussion.

We should carefully watch our pressure points while dealing with others.It is better to note down these on a piece of paper.It can be your spouse or sibling throwing wet towel on bed, shoes are scattered,do not do laundry,wash utensils , keep utensils in bed room overnight,do not clean room,sometime you visit your brother or sisters’s house with your kids but they do not talk to your kids as you talk nicely with their children,sometime you visit your friend’s house but they do not cook as much dishes as you cooked for them,likes on Facebook post, forget wishing you on your birthday or anniversary and the list goes on.Identify your pressure points then you have to think what you should do so that you do not get triggered all the time and over react.It not only spoil our relations but also steal our peace.These pressure points are like thorns and these need to be pulled out because it always gives us pain when touched.No one else can do this it is only and only one person who can give you relief that person is YOU.

Other person has done things knowingly or unknowingly.It is up to you how you are going to take it. First of all you need to calm down. Do not do self negative talk such as this person always does this,do not care of my emotions,I did so much in this relationship blah  blah  blah….But lean back from this situation and take a deep breath and relax .You can convey your message with calm mind some other time not now. If that person is knowingly doing this and if he or she is not getting your reaction then his or her purpose is not solved. But if that person is doing unknowingly then he or she will understand you when you will convey you message nicely and calmly some other time.

We should also understand what other person exactly want from us. It may be your spouse do not want expensive gifts from you but expect you to talk to her nicely or need your time or sometime need you to help her in cleaning utensils ,washing clothes and so on. Or may be your husband sometime need some space after hectic schedule.

May be due to financial constrains your sibling or friends could not cook much dishes for you or due to health or family problem they could not talk to you nicely.May be they did their best as per their knowledge and capacity.If we understand them and give them benefit of doubt it will help us to live in peace. Our peace is more important than anything else.In this case we should avoid negative self talk and also avoid discussing with others.We should bless them and this will help us to make peace in our mind.

We should not force other person to like our hobby, match up to our thinking level,change his or her liking ,food habits,dress up sense for us.We should understand we are two different individuals and brought up differently. We both are unique.We should understand each other so that we both can pursue our dreams.

In fights we should not bring past issues but focus on real cause of concern of today’s annoyance.Instead of raising voice,shouting,we should try to clear the differences.If one has lost his control over his emotions other should keep quite for sometime.And try to understand the real cause of his behaviour.If we both shout no one will listen.It is better let the other person calm down.Then convey your point of view calmly.The point is not to win the argument at that time only but the other person should be in the state of mind so he can undestand your point of view.So you have to wait for the right time, choose right words and right tone.

We can attain the calm state of mind if we are physically fit and mentally peaceful. We should eat nutritious food,sleep 8 to10 hour,go out for walk ,do some exercise and Yoga.Meditation and focus on breath will help us to calm our mind.With healthy body and calm mind we can take better decision,have good relationship with others and also with our self. And live happy,peaceful and successful life.

Stay happy and calm

Renu Sharma